Post by Sophie Grahm on May 29, 2007 1:30:10 GMT
Okay, I'm now going to post my fics, and even though, they probly suck ^_^ I'd love some people critiquing it!!!
The Seven Deadly Sins
A Lily/ James story. Basically I took the “7 deadly sins”/ “7 holy virtues” and assigned one of each to the characters.
Chapter 1 excerpt to hopefully get you interested: Then there is Sirius. The guy whose chest I happen to be laying on. Sirius is going to be my husband. We’ll have three kids and a dog and be a perfect family someday. ((btw, that was said by Lily!!))
Chapter 1: Some background information in the form of a memory. Also character descriptions.
Year 7, summer before (sb7)
Lily POV:
I sat on the couch at Jamie’s house with my head in Sirius Black’s lap as we watched a movie. Now if you met me and Sirius for like five minutes with out either of us telling you about our… relationship, you would never believe the situation. We are complete opposites. Strangely enough we get along. There is a valid excuse though!
Third Person Flashback: (sb2)
It was one summer’s night 11, almost 12, year old Lily Evans was laying on her bed writing a Charms essay. Lily had on a white tank top, emerald green shorts (short ones at that), and a silky turquoise bathrobe. All of a sudden Lily’s older sister Petunia screamed downstairs. Lily’s parents were currently out of town leaving Lily with Petunia. Lily jumped out of bed, put her slippers on, grabbed her wand and ran out the door to see what was the matter. Now Lily and her sister hadn’t gotten along at all since Lily was accepted to Hogwarts, but Petunia was her sister none the less.
“Petunia, what’s wrong?” She asked her sister worriedly.
“YOU!” Petunia said in a rage of anger. Then Lily noticed their mother’s vase all over the floor in pieces. The vase had been in the family for four generations and their mother was very proud of that vase. Petunia knew their mother would not be very happy with her. Then Petunia got an evil glint in her eye. “Lily! How dare you break that vase. Mum’s going to be SO angry!” She said with a smirk.
Lily just rolled her eyes in disgust. “Poor Petunia! All she can do is blame others never taking the blame herself. If you went to a shrink, they would have a field day with you!” Then Lily laughed, and lifted her wand. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten that I’m a witch? I can fix this easy! Arculis Reparo.” ((or something like that!!!
)) Lily laughed, “So don’t even try to blame me!”
Petunia got really mad. “You stupid little freak! You probably cursed the vase! It’s probably going to kill me one day now!”
Lily took a deep breath trying to control her temper. “No such luck Petunia. I fixed the vase, let’s just get over it, and forget all about the vase.” She said turning around to go back upstairs.
“Don’t you turn your back on me Freak!” Petunia said rudely.
Lily lost her temper, “What is your problem Petunia?” she yelled.
“You are!” Petunia screeched.
“What happened? We used to be best friends, but now you hate me because I’m a witch. Petunia, can’t we just get passed all this? We’re sisters!” Lily said almost in tears.
Petunia smiled evilly. As if she was glad she was upset. “You are not my sister anymore! If you ever were!”
Lily looked at her with a look of severe disappointment, “I can’t believe how jealous you are. I pity you.”
Petunia slapped her across the face, “How dare you speak to me like that Freak? Besides, why would I be jealous of freak?” Then she laughed.
Lily couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed her purse from by the door, and ran out of her house in tears. She ran about two blocks in the pouring rain before sitting on a bench somewhere to figure out her next plan.
Lily POV, still flashback.
Its freezing cold, and I don’t know what to do!
Its okay Lily, calm down. Think.
Oh my gosh I’m talking to myself!
I think the correct term would be thinking.
“True!”
Until now!
“Dang it!” Okay, back to thinking and responding to myself. I heard a noise in the bushes so I pulled my wand out just incase. I stood over the street when woosh, a huge bus suddenly pulled. A man stepped out of the bus and started reading something off of a card.
“Hello, my name is…” blah blah blah. This man is boring. I wonder what he’s doing? Ooh, I know what this is, the Knight Bus! Jamie told me about it! Wait, that’s a great idea! I’ll go to Jamie’s house. “Hello Miss?” the boring man said. Apparently he needed something.
“Can you get me to the Potter Manor?” I asked Boring Man.
“Of course Miss. We’ve been there once today already!” Boring Man said.
“How much?” I asked Boring Man.
((don’t know correct prices, not in the mood to look them up)) “Two galleons, 5 knuts, and a sickle.” Boring man said.
I dug in my purse and pulled out my money pouch. I emptied the last of it into my hand. I really needed to go to Diagon Alley. I counted it out. One galleon, 3 knuts, and two sickles. I burst out sobbing. “I’m short some,” I finally managed to say between sobs.
“Oh, poor girl.” Boring Man said softly. “What the heck, we have no other customers, its been pretty much dead all night! Go ahead and get on. We’ll take you.” Boring Man whom I’ve decided to rename Nice Man said.
“Oh, thank you so much!” I said, my tears slowing down as I got on the bus. Then I gave him a big hug.
Fast Forward to door of Potter Manor:
Lily POV still
I knocked on the door and then stood there patiently waiting for someone to come. Finally someone opened the door. “Sirius?” Sirius Black was at the door. Why the heck was he answering the door?
“Lily Evans?” He asked me curiously.
I sat there staring at him stupidly for a second. I guess he was visiting James. “Is Jamie here?” I asked him.
“No,” he told me, “She’s camping with her dad and brother.
I almost started crying again. “What about Beth?” I asked him with hope. Beth was Jamie’s mum and she was the coolest mum ever. She would understand.
“She’s at this thing for her work.” He told me.
I started to cry. No, cry isn’t a strong enough word. I started to sob.
“No, wait don’t cry!” He said in that pathetic, yet sweet, guy voice that says ‘How am I supposed to handle this?’ It didn’t help any though.
“What am I supposed to do? I have no where to go, and no money.” I said between sobs.
“Just come inside.” Sirius told me. “I’m sure Beth won’t mind.”
I nodded and walked in. “Now,” he said nervously as if he didn’t know how to approach the subject, “Do you want some dry clothes?”
It was then when I realized that I was wearing a WHITE tank top with only a skimpy robe to cover it. I nodded pulling the robe around me tighter. “I’ll just go borrow something of Jamie’s.”
“Umm, no such luck. Beth put a charm on the door so I couldn’t get in to search for her diary. Like I would ever do that.” He said starting to become his normal self again. “You can borrow something of mine though. I might have a shirt that won’t completely swallow you. I have some drawstring pajama pants also that don’t really fit anymore. I’ll go get them.” He said turning around and running upstairs. He came back downstairs with a black t-shirt with BLACK on it in white letters, a pair of red and gold pajama pants, and a towel.
“Thanks Sirius.” I said and went to the bathroom to change. When I came back out he was sitting on the couch with some blankets and hot chocolate.
“Come on.” He said motioning for me to come over there. “Sit, tell me what happened. Here’s some hot chocolate.”
So I sat there and told him everything. After all that was the least I could do. He was sympathetic through out the whole thing. Once I finished with the story I realized that I had no idea why he was here. “So why are you here Sirius?”
Sirius paused. “Well since I suppose since you told me your family problems I’ll tell you mine. All my family has been in Slytherin for centuries. They believe all that pureblood crap and everything. Even when I younger I didn’t believe that crap. I once had a muggle friend, and my mum threw a fit. Ever since then I’ve hated her, and them. Then when I got to Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryfindor things just got worse. We had a really big fight last night and I packed up my stuff and left. I got here and Beth said that James, Jamie, and Henry went camping, and they’d be back in a few days. She said I was welcome to stay here as long I want, and I plan on taking her up on that offer.”
There was a moment of silence as I thought about what he had just said. “That makes my life seem like a walk in the park Sirius. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay Lily.” He told me. We stood up talking about anything and everything until I finally fell asleep. When I woke up I was laying in his arm. We went back the next day and I got my stuff and called my parents and convinced them to let me stay at Potter Manor for the rest of the summer.
*Back to present time.*
Oops, I just missed a huge chunk of the movie. Oh well, I’ll just go back to daydreaming. Let me tell you about my friends.
First of all there was Jamie. Jamie was my best friend. We did almost everything together. She has black hair, that’s layered and has a “messy” look to it. She has gorgeous sapphire blue eyes. She’s small, and on the tall side. Jamie gets easily excited about anything. She’s also very proud to.
Then there is Sirius. The guy whose chest I happen to be laying on. Sirius is going to be my husband. We’ll have three kids and a dog and be a perfect family someday. Ha ha ha, I’m totally kidding. Sirius is my brother. Well, like my brother more like it. He’s over protective of me, he teases me, we give each other advice, and all that jazz. He’s like a brother that I flirt with. We flirt constantly and then switch into sibling mode. We’d never date though. That would be taking it too far. We’ve snogged a couple of times, no big deal. Well, kind of. We were drunk one time and the other was a dare. Oh, and Sirius is a major player. Oh, and did I mention that him and Sophie totally belong together. Sirius just flirts too much and Jamie’s to damn proud.
Then there is Sophie. Sophie is really pretty. She has long blonde hair and, get this, PURPLE eyes. They are so pretty and unusual though. I love them. Sophie is also kind of lazy though. She doesn’t do physical activity unless it’s just like playing around or something. James has been trying to get her to join the team since he saw her fly in 3rd year. She’s never really done anything with a guy though. It wasn’t until last year that she even got her first kiss. Her and Remus totally belong together. She’s
Remus is awesome. He’s that sweet, smart, shy kind of guy. He’s so easy to talk to. Remus has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. I love hanging out with him. Did I mention that he was a werewolf? I’ve known since that summer before 2nd year. We got really close that summer, just like Sirius and me. Although, I’m closer to Sirius. I had figured out something was different about him, and I finally made him tell me. Sirius and James figured it out in 2nd year. We don’t talk about it very often, but I visit him in the hospital a lot afterwards.
Then there is James. I guess I consider James a friend, but he’s more of a “friend by association.” Because he obsesses over me. He’s constantly asking me out and irritating the crap out of me in general. He’s an arrogant pig headed jerk who needs to grow up before he even stands a chance. I guess Sirius is a lot like him, but I don’t know. It seems different some how. If Sirius and I weren’t so close I’d probably dislike him also. I don’t hate James, or Potter as I call him to his face. He just makes me so mad! He is hot though, I’m not going to lie. Perfect body, face, and hair. Damn he’s hot. (Although I’d never admit that detail to anyone.) He gets incredibly jealous over any guy I even talk to. He threatens them all besides Remus and Sirius of course. He’s still incredibly jealous of them though. Now, when I’m hiper or if I’m drunk, I have flirted with him before. I’m not going to lie. To myself at least.
Oh my goodness the credits are on the movie. I sat up, Sophie was asleep on the couch and Remus was leaning against the couch sitting up, also asleep. The position looked quite uncomfortable. Everyone else was awake. “What next?” I asked.
The Seven Deadly Sins
A Lily/ James story. Basically I took the “7 deadly sins”/ “7 holy virtues” and assigned one of each to the characters.
Chapter 1 excerpt to hopefully get you interested: Then there is Sirius. The guy whose chest I happen to be laying on. Sirius is going to be my husband. We’ll have three kids and a dog and be a perfect family someday. ((btw, that was said by Lily!!))
Chapter 1: Some background information in the form of a memory. Also character descriptions.
Year 7, summer before (sb7)
Lily POV:
I sat on the couch at Jamie’s house with my head in Sirius Black’s lap as we watched a movie. Now if you met me and Sirius for like five minutes with out either of us telling you about our… relationship, you would never believe the situation. We are complete opposites. Strangely enough we get along. There is a valid excuse though!
Third Person Flashback: (sb2)
It was one summer’s night 11, almost 12, year old Lily Evans was laying on her bed writing a Charms essay. Lily had on a white tank top, emerald green shorts (short ones at that), and a silky turquoise bathrobe. All of a sudden Lily’s older sister Petunia screamed downstairs. Lily’s parents were currently out of town leaving Lily with Petunia. Lily jumped out of bed, put her slippers on, grabbed her wand and ran out the door to see what was the matter. Now Lily and her sister hadn’t gotten along at all since Lily was accepted to Hogwarts, but Petunia was her sister none the less.
“Petunia, what’s wrong?” She asked her sister worriedly.
“YOU!” Petunia said in a rage of anger. Then Lily noticed their mother’s vase all over the floor in pieces. The vase had been in the family for four generations and their mother was very proud of that vase. Petunia knew their mother would not be very happy with her. Then Petunia got an evil glint in her eye. “Lily! How dare you break that vase. Mum’s going to be SO angry!” She said with a smirk.
Lily just rolled her eyes in disgust. “Poor Petunia! All she can do is blame others never taking the blame herself. If you went to a shrink, they would have a field day with you!” Then Lily laughed, and lifted her wand. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten that I’m a witch? I can fix this easy! Arculis Reparo.” ((or something like that!!!
)) Lily laughed, “So don’t even try to blame me!” Petunia got really mad. “You stupid little freak! You probably cursed the vase! It’s probably going to kill me one day now!”
Lily took a deep breath trying to control her temper. “No such luck Petunia. I fixed the vase, let’s just get over it, and forget all about the vase.” She said turning around to go back upstairs.
“Don’t you turn your back on me Freak!” Petunia said rudely.
Lily lost her temper, “What is your problem Petunia?” she yelled.
“You are!” Petunia screeched.
“What happened? We used to be best friends, but now you hate me because I’m a witch. Petunia, can’t we just get passed all this? We’re sisters!” Lily said almost in tears.
Petunia smiled evilly. As if she was glad she was upset. “You are not my sister anymore! If you ever were!”
Lily looked at her with a look of severe disappointment, “I can’t believe how jealous you are. I pity you.”
Petunia slapped her across the face, “How dare you speak to me like that Freak? Besides, why would I be jealous of freak?” Then she laughed.
Lily couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed her purse from by the door, and ran out of her house in tears. She ran about two blocks in the pouring rain before sitting on a bench somewhere to figure out her next plan.
Lily POV, still flashback.
Its freezing cold, and I don’t know what to do!
Its okay Lily, calm down. Think.
Oh my gosh I’m talking to myself!
I think the correct term would be thinking.
“True!”
Until now!
“Dang it!” Okay, back to thinking and responding to myself. I heard a noise in the bushes so I pulled my wand out just incase. I stood over the street when woosh, a huge bus suddenly pulled. A man stepped out of the bus and started reading something off of a card.
“Hello, my name is…” blah blah blah. This man is boring. I wonder what he’s doing? Ooh, I know what this is, the Knight Bus! Jamie told me about it! Wait, that’s a great idea! I’ll go to Jamie’s house. “Hello Miss?” the boring man said. Apparently he needed something.
“Can you get me to the Potter Manor?” I asked Boring Man.
“Of course Miss. We’ve been there once today already!” Boring Man said.
“How much?” I asked Boring Man.
((don’t know correct prices, not in the mood to look them up)) “Two galleons, 5 knuts, and a sickle.” Boring man said.
I dug in my purse and pulled out my money pouch. I emptied the last of it into my hand. I really needed to go to Diagon Alley. I counted it out. One galleon, 3 knuts, and two sickles. I burst out sobbing. “I’m short some,” I finally managed to say between sobs.
“Oh, poor girl.” Boring Man said softly. “What the heck, we have no other customers, its been pretty much dead all night! Go ahead and get on. We’ll take you.” Boring Man whom I’ve decided to rename Nice Man said.
“Oh, thank you so much!” I said, my tears slowing down as I got on the bus. Then I gave him a big hug.
Fast Forward to door of Potter Manor:
Lily POV still
I knocked on the door and then stood there patiently waiting for someone to come. Finally someone opened the door. “Sirius?” Sirius Black was at the door. Why the heck was he answering the door?
“Lily Evans?” He asked me curiously.
I sat there staring at him stupidly for a second. I guess he was visiting James. “Is Jamie here?” I asked him.
“No,” he told me, “She’s camping with her dad and brother.
I almost started crying again. “What about Beth?” I asked him with hope. Beth was Jamie’s mum and she was the coolest mum ever. She would understand.
“She’s at this thing for her work.” He told me.
I started to cry. No, cry isn’t a strong enough word. I started to sob.
“No, wait don’t cry!” He said in that pathetic, yet sweet, guy voice that says ‘How am I supposed to handle this?’ It didn’t help any though.
“What am I supposed to do? I have no where to go, and no money.” I said between sobs.
“Just come inside.” Sirius told me. “I’m sure Beth won’t mind.”
I nodded and walked in. “Now,” he said nervously as if he didn’t know how to approach the subject, “Do you want some dry clothes?”
It was then when I realized that I was wearing a WHITE tank top with only a skimpy robe to cover it. I nodded pulling the robe around me tighter. “I’ll just go borrow something of Jamie’s.”
“Umm, no such luck. Beth put a charm on the door so I couldn’t get in to search for her diary. Like I would ever do that.” He said starting to become his normal self again. “You can borrow something of mine though. I might have a shirt that won’t completely swallow you. I have some drawstring pajama pants also that don’t really fit anymore. I’ll go get them.” He said turning around and running upstairs. He came back downstairs with a black t-shirt with BLACK on it in white letters, a pair of red and gold pajama pants, and a towel.
“Thanks Sirius.” I said and went to the bathroom to change. When I came back out he was sitting on the couch with some blankets and hot chocolate.
“Come on.” He said motioning for me to come over there. “Sit, tell me what happened. Here’s some hot chocolate.”
So I sat there and told him everything. After all that was the least I could do. He was sympathetic through out the whole thing. Once I finished with the story I realized that I had no idea why he was here. “So why are you here Sirius?”
Sirius paused. “Well since I suppose since you told me your family problems I’ll tell you mine. All my family has been in Slytherin for centuries. They believe all that pureblood crap and everything. Even when I younger I didn’t believe that crap. I once had a muggle friend, and my mum threw a fit. Ever since then I’ve hated her, and them. Then when I got to Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryfindor things just got worse. We had a really big fight last night and I packed up my stuff and left. I got here and Beth said that James, Jamie, and Henry went camping, and they’d be back in a few days. She said I was welcome to stay here as long I want, and I plan on taking her up on that offer.”
There was a moment of silence as I thought about what he had just said. “That makes my life seem like a walk in the park Sirius. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay Lily.” He told me. We stood up talking about anything and everything until I finally fell asleep. When I woke up I was laying in his arm. We went back the next day and I got my stuff and called my parents and convinced them to let me stay at Potter Manor for the rest of the summer.
*Back to present time.*
Oops, I just missed a huge chunk of the movie. Oh well, I’ll just go back to daydreaming. Let me tell you about my friends.
First of all there was Jamie. Jamie was my best friend. We did almost everything together. She has black hair, that’s layered and has a “messy” look to it. She has gorgeous sapphire blue eyes. She’s small, and on the tall side. Jamie gets easily excited about anything. She’s also very proud to.
Then there is Sirius. The guy whose chest I happen to be laying on. Sirius is going to be my husband. We’ll have three kids and a dog and be a perfect family someday. Ha ha ha, I’m totally kidding. Sirius is my brother. Well, like my brother more like it. He’s over protective of me, he teases me, we give each other advice, and all that jazz. He’s like a brother that I flirt with. We flirt constantly and then switch into sibling mode. We’d never date though. That would be taking it too far. We’ve snogged a couple of times, no big deal. Well, kind of. We were drunk one time and the other was a dare. Oh, and Sirius is a major player. Oh, and did I mention that him and Sophie totally belong together. Sirius just flirts too much and Jamie’s to damn proud.
Then there is Sophie. Sophie is really pretty. She has long blonde hair and, get this, PURPLE eyes. They are so pretty and unusual though. I love them. Sophie is also kind of lazy though. She doesn’t do physical activity unless it’s just like playing around or something. James has been trying to get her to join the team since he saw her fly in 3rd year. She’s never really done anything with a guy though. It wasn’t until last year that she even got her first kiss. Her and Remus totally belong together. She’s
Remus is awesome. He’s that sweet, smart, shy kind of guy. He’s so easy to talk to. Remus has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. I love hanging out with him. Did I mention that he was a werewolf? I’ve known since that summer before 2nd year. We got really close that summer, just like Sirius and me. Although, I’m closer to Sirius. I had figured out something was different about him, and I finally made him tell me. Sirius and James figured it out in 2nd year. We don’t talk about it very often, but I visit him in the hospital a lot afterwards.
Then there is James. I guess I consider James a friend, but he’s more of a “friend by association.” Because he obsesses over me. He’s constantly asking me out and irritating the crap out of me in general. He’s an arrogant pig headed jerk who needs to grow up before he even stands a chance. I guess Sirius is a lot like him, but I don’t know. It seems different some how. If Sirius and I weren’t so close I’d probably dislike him also. I don’t hate James, or Potter as I call him to his face. He just makes me so mad! He is hot though, I’m not going to lie. Perfect body, face, and hair. Damn he’s hot. (Although I’d never admit that detail to anyone.) He gets incredibly jealous over any guy I even talk to. He threatens them all besides Remus and Sirius of course. He’s still incredibly jealous of them though. Now, when I’m hiper or if I’m drunk, I have flirted with him before. I’m not going to lie. To myself at least.
Oh my goodness the credits are on the movie. I sat up, Sophie was asleep on the couch and Remus was leaning against the couch sitting up, also asleep. The position looked quite uncomfortable. Everyone else was awake. “What next?” I asked.
